And it was
by Meme-Ann
Summary: I’d always envisioned this romantic walk on the beach at sunset. A blanket laying on the sand. Everything would be soft, and gentle. Tender. But I also, always envisioned, that the girl would be you."


I don't own the Ducks.

If could design the perfect women, she'd have eyes the color of melted chocolate. Her smile would light up the room. Her tiny frame, would fit so perfectly in my arms, I'd never want to let her go. Her hair would be so shiny and soft and feel like pure silk to the touch. And she'd always have, the subtle smell of raspberries on her skin.

I guess you can see where I'm going with this by now. It's pretty simple to figure out, when you know what to look for. Though, you have gone this long without noticing. It's been what, seventeen years we've known each other? And you've never figured it out.

You're more then just the girl next door to me. You always have been. Even when we were ten years old. But that's when girls had cooties, and thinking of you as anymore then just a teammate, would've gotten my noogies until my scalp was raw. So I couldn't tell you, I thought you were pretty and wanted you to be my first girlfriend. Then Guy beat me to it, and I missed my shot.

I've never felt about another girl, the way I feel about you. How could I? You're perfect. Well alright, no-one's perfect, but you're perfect for me. You know me inside and out, I've told you things that I've never told anyone else. There isn't anything about me that's foreign to you, except this.

I had that one girlfriend, at the beginning of our high school education. The guys always teased me about how much she looked like you. I'd laugh, say things like "They're noses are totally different." or "No, my girlfriend's a good three inches taller." But in all honesty, I knew they were right. Outwardly the two of you were so similar, but on the inside, where it really counts, you were nothing alike. She could never compare to you, not that anyone can.

I think that maybe why none of my relationships every worked out, or lasted longer then a couple of months. I always held the girls up to you. They didn't stand a chance, poor things. They couldn't have known, no matter what they said or did. They could never have my heart, because it belonged to you.

It goes deeper then that, too. You remember the day after Junior prom, when everyone was giving me a hard time, for not sleeping with my date? I told them all it was because I didn't want my first time to be in the backseat of my mother's station wagon. That wasn't entirely the truth. I mean, partly it was, because I'd always envisioned this romantic walk on the beach at sunset. A blanket laying on the sand. Everything would be soft, and gentle. Tender. But I also, always envisioned, that the girl would be you.

That's right, I'm a seventeen year old, male, virgin. Don't laugh, it's kind of embarrassing. I mean, I know you've been there and back again. I drove you to the ER, last year, when you could barely stand from the pain in your abdomen. And I held you, as you shook with tears, as the nurse explained, you'd had a miscarriage. You hadn't even known you were pregnant.

I sat in the waiting room, as they operated. I've never been so scared in my life. If something happened to you, I would've died right there, in that uncomfortable, hospital chair. I'll admit it, when they came out to tell me, you were awake and doing fine, I cried. I felt like it was okay to breathe again. I hadn't noticed until just then, that I had been holding my breath, the entire time.

I wrapped my arm tightly around your waist, as we walked to the car. You were still slightly dizzy, kind of weak, and as I held you close to me, I was driving myself mad. I wanted so badly to kiss you. I knew I couldn't, it wasn't right. Especially after what you'd just been through. So I controlled myself, got you into the car and got you back to the dorms. Helped you into bed, and I saw the worry in your dark eyes. I knew what you were thinking without even asking. I always did.

"I won't tell him." I told you in my most gentle voice, and your lips curved upwards. Through your tears and fear, you smiled at me.

You kissed my cheek and I felt my skin, instantly turn warm. "I love you." You said before, resting your head on the pillow and drifting off to sleep. Those words should've made me happy, but I knew if you'd been thinking clearly, you would've said "As a friend." At the end.

I sat there on the edge of your bed, stroking you hair soothingly for a few minutes. I could spend hours just watching you sleep. The slow, steady raise and fall of your chest, hypnotic. I pressed my lips to your forehead and walked out. Pausing at the door to whisper back. "I love you more."

I kept your secret, much the same I kept mine. Close my heart, where else can touch them. To this day, I'm the only person that knows, and despite the sadness of said secret, I'm happy. I'm happy because I shared something with you, no-one else has.

And here we are, the whole team, at this quiet little beach restaurant, celebrating our graduation. The commencement of another four years of avoiding telling you the truth. The end of our time together, not only as the Ducks, but I dread, as friends too. I'm going to Canada to play Juniors, and you're pursuing a journalism career. I'm leaving tomorrow, other then you, hockey's the greatest love of my life. I doubt we'll ever have time to see each other, we probably wont speak much either. So I think, it's safe to say, this is good bye.

I look over at you, you're pushing the vegetables around on your plate, not listening to any of the conversation that's going on around us. You look so sad, and tiny. Shoulders slumped, head down, eyes transfixed on your peas. Even so, you're the most beautiful girl in the eatery, oh who am I kissing, the most beautiful girl in world.

When you walked in tonight, I noticed you didn't come in with him. That made me smile, because I got to take you in, without having his image blurring your grace. You're hair swept up, in one of those twisty things, you girls like to wear. Your dark purple dress, is hugging you in just the right places. You always look good in purple, it's your favorite color, so wearing it makes you glow. Though if you ask me, you'd look great in a potato sack.

After a few minutes of poking your food, you get up from the table and exit the patio, descending onto the beach. When Guy doesn't follow you out, I frown. How could he let you walk away like that? You're obviously upset about something, you need to be held and comforted. If he won't go after, I will.

From the top of the stairs, I see you, standing by the water, staring out at nothing, and everything at once. Your shoes are in your hand, and you've removed the clip from your hair, allowing it to dance in the ocean breeze.

I shove my hands in my pockets, walking down the sand toward you. "Connie?"

You don't turn to me, you just continue to watch the water. "Hey."

"What's wrong, Cons?" I reach out and touch your bare shoulder and you jump.

You turn to me, your gorgeous eyes, dark pools of sorrow. "You're leaving tomorrow, and you never told me, you loved me."

I avert my gaze to ground, digging the toe of my shoe into the sand. "Oh come on, Cons, I tell you I love you all the time."

Your voice is scarcely above a whisper. "You know what I mean, Charlie." Your hand goes to my chin, and you force me to look you in the face.

I swallow, trying to look anywhere but into your eyes. "You, know?"

I can barely move as your petite hands circle my wrists, pulling my hands from my pockets. You pry my clenched fists open, threading your delicate fingers through mine. Your touch feels like velvet, my heart is pounding.

"I, know." You murmur, stepping closer. "I've always known. I just wish you would've said something, so we could've done something about it."

I suddenly feel cold, the wind coming off the water is warm and still I'm freezing. It's your words that have drained the heat from my body. I've put it off too long, I've missed my chance. "We can't do something about it, now?"

I watch as a tear rolls down your cheek. "You're leaving tomorrow."

"I'd stay if you asked me too."

"I'd ask you, if you kissed me."

A smile crosses my lips as I lean in and press them to yours. So smooth, soft, sweet. Everything I'd ever imagine our first kiss would be. I'd always envisioned this romantic walk on the beach at sunset. A blanket laying on the sand. Everything would be soft, and gentle. Tender. But I also, always envisioned, that the girl would be you. And it was.


End file.
